Emotions are Strange
by Pupmon1
Summary: Camilla knows her reputation...so do her retainers. Why does she never hear them correct that reputation, and get angry when they admit that there's some trust to it? Well...emotions are strange... [Dragon's Retainers]


Beruka and Selena stood out in the hallway, talking softly amongst themselves as they guarded Camilla's room. She was doing...something important, she wouldn't say what, just that they had to leave.

Beruka suddenly went quiet and held up a hand, to stop her chattering partner. A moment later, a maid trotted down the hall, towards Camilla's door.

"What are you doing here?" Beruka said rudely...well, curtly, but anyone else would consider it rude.

"Cleaning, milady," the maid said.

"Well move on, Princess Camilla is busy," Selena butted in, knowing Beruka neither likes dealing with the staff, nor being referred to as 'milady'. "She won't tolerate any interruptions right now."

"Busy? Or...busy?" the maid leaned in and lowered her voice as she spoke, winking towards Selena.

Selena turned bright red and started stammering. Beruka just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I assure you, we don't know what you're talking about, now move along!" the ex-assassin ordered.

"Well...you two are outside...does she have somebody else in there?" the maid asked, clearly pressing her luck.

Beruka grunted and crossed her arms. "That is none of your business." Though as she spoke, the two retainers shared a glance...they weren't sure what their lady was doing. She could be doing that...but...they weren't sure.

"...is it yours, though? Come on. Everyone knows...y'know...what she's like..."

"Camilla can do whatever she wants," Selena said firmly. "It is no one business what she does behind closed doors."

"You're not denying it," the maid pointed out with a grin.

"Sh-shut up."

Beruka put a hand on Selena's shoulder to keep her from stepping forward, then she turned to the maid. "It is none of your business. Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. It might just get removed."

The maid paled. "...true...I still need to clean that room, though. If you would permit me..."

"Princess Camilla doesn't want to be disturbed," the two retainers said together, moving in front of the door.

"...I'll go inform Flora," the maid said in a neutral tone, turning to leave.

Beruka's shoulders relaxed as the maid left, and a heavy silence fell.

"...that's really what they think of her…" Selena was the first to break to silence.

"...can you blame them? She frightens everyone...and I doubt there's a hand who hasn't found their way to her bed."

"You have to say that so bluntly, don't you?" Selena said with a sigh. "But you're right...that's how she is."

Beruka snorted and leaned back on the wall. "She's impressive though...she even scares you."

"That eye is weird!" Selena snapped, then she spun around and pointed a finger at Beruka. "And don't talk like you're immune. I've seen you flinch when Striker invades her mind."

"...fair enough…" Beruka muttered softly.

Just then, the door creaked open, and the two sprang to attention.

Camilla peeked out, glaring at them with a mixture of anger and sadness. "I heard everything."

"I-...uh, C-Camilla, it's not what you think," Selena stammered, holding her hands up. "We weren't- I mean-" Selena shot a look at Beruka.

Beruka blinked a few times, not really understanding what was going on...Camilla was angry, and...sad? That didn't make any sense. Beruka met Selena's gaze with her usual 'I don't know what's going on' look.

"You two...really think that about me, don't you?"

The words caught in Selena's throat. She was just talking with Beruka...she didn't think they said anything bad...just being honest with each other.

Beruka wasn't so nervous about talking. "Wh-what's going on?" she asked carefully, confused. "We were just talking. Did we...do something wrong?" Beruka's voice grew soft, a sign of nervousness.

Selena simply sighed and stepped forward. "Camilla, it isn't what you think. Calm down."

"I heard you two discussing how scary I was. And...my promiscuity is none of your business!"

"...it is when we're the ones who keep people from barging in on you and your toy…" Selena grumbled, crossing her arms.

Beruka shrugged. "I just stated what was true…" she muttered.

"...I suppose you did..." Camilla shut her door, looking even more miserable than before.

Selena snorted and shook her head. "...she knows all of these things about her. She knows how she comes off, and she expects us not to talk about it? Gawds...she can be ridiculous."

"...she's not just scary and sexual," Beruka said softly. "...we always talk about her warm, gentle side...why is this the one she heard?"

"Because life hates us both…" Selena grumbled, before throwing up her hands and walking away, not wanting to deal with the outburst she thought was coming. Beruka glanced between the redhead and the door, then sighed and leaned on the wall, taking her post of guarding her lady.

"...Beruka? Are you still there…?" Camilla's soft voice sounded from behind the door.

"Of course, Lady Camilla. I would never leave you."

There was a heavy pause before Camilla spoke again. "...do you really think I'm...terrifying…?"

Beruka softly chuckled. "Yes. I think you're frightening. But you're so much more than that. You're soft and warm and kind. You wouldn't be my lady if you weren't all of these things, including your promiscuity. I-" Beruka paused, trying to find the right words. "You wouldn't be you without these things, wouldn't be my lady." Beruka fell silent, realizing that she repeated herself, and her limited vocabulary has failed her.

Camilla opened the door and smiled gently down at Beruka. She pulled her small retainer into a warm hug. "...thank you, dear Beruka...that made me feel better."

Beruka squirmed and tilted her head back to look up at Camilla. "I was only stating a fact."

Camilla laughed and nodded. "I know, dear."

Beruka sighed and allowed Camilla to hold her close for as long as she wished. Then, once her lady had her fill, she pulled away and stood at her attention. "Should I go fetch Selena?"

Camilla hesitated before nodding. "I'll be in my room."

Beruka nodded and walked down the hall. She knew where Selena would be. She looked around carefully, then pushed open one of the windows. She climbed outside, keeping on hand on the sill. With a breath, she curled up and dropped, landing on a roof with a thud. She slid down the sloping roof, towards the far corner.

She paused at the edge of the roof. She looked around carefully, making sure no one was watching her. She didn't need the regular guards, or anyone for that matter, knowing how she got around. Not seeing anyone, she focused down at the castle grounds. She crept along the gutter, keeping an eye out for Selena incase she was wrong.

She stopped at the corner, looking down at a small nook used by the retainers. Sure enough, Selena was there, slashing at a dummy. Beruka shifted positions, crawling down to brace herself on the corner. She relaxed her hands and slid down the corner of the building.

"Selena." Beruka landed with a thump.

"Can't you get around like a normal person?" Selena growled as she buried her sword in the dummy. "What do you want? Or should I ask what Camilla wants? Since that is the only reason you would want to talk to me."

Beruka flinched away. "S-Selena...she's not mad anymore…"

Selena paused. "Wait, she isn't?"

"She isn't," Beruka paused for a moment, then stepped away. "...but...why did you say that…?"

"...sorry..." Selena sighed. "I just...lash out, I guess."

"...should I have waited then? To come find you?" Beruka stepped towards Selena. "I probably should've…"

"No no, I shouldn't have lashed out," Selena said simply. "I knew you were coming, I was stupid. Let's head back."

Beruka nodded and watched Selena walk past her, hesitating before following.

"I really am sorry, Beruka…" Selena muttered before going inside.

Beruka didn't respond. She simply looked around, then leaned on Selena. "...it's okay...emotions are...strange…let's go talk to Camilla...everything will be okay."


End file.
